Obituary of Dorothy Jewel Davis

Dorothy J. Davis, Dec. 1926 - Feb. 2020 On February 13, Dorothy J. Davis passed away at the age of 93. She began seriously failing in recent months, so her passing was a blessing. Many thanks to the caring staff and nurses of Haven of Lake Havasu, formerly known as Lake Hills Inn, for their personal attention to Mom over the years. Thanks to Mom's friends, who sometimes ran errands and whose phone calls and visits enriched her life. Thanks also go to Hospice of Havasu, who helped with Mom's transition during her final week of life. Now the Lietz-Fraze staff are helping me, her daughter, get through the aftermath. Mom was predeceased by her second husband, William L. Davis, a Navy veteran, retired diver, electronics worker and farrier/horse shoer. She's survived by her only child, Jean Hohl, of Berkeley, California; her sister Blossom Hofmann of Berkeley; her niece Vicky of Salem, Oregon; and her nephew Steve of Berkeley. Mom grew up in Ohio. Her art school training ended when she got married, moved to southern California and had me. Years later she worked as a cashier at UC San Diego, and as a bank teller in southern and northern California. Her favorite job was assisting staff and students at Santana High School. She took correspondence courses for several years and worked at writing stories for a decade. Despite my trying to explain how she could make quick changes in her stories without having to entirely rewrite them, she continued revising her manuscripts with an electric typewriter, wanting nothing to do with computers and word processing . Mom enjoyed mysteries and detective stories. In Lake Havasu she enjoyed knowing what was going on in her neighborhood and kept her eyes peeled for nefarious activities. A few of her neighbors didn't appreciate her inquisitive nature. Others enjoyed her frankness and sense of humor. When she was able, she helped friends within walking and driving distance by giving them rides and offering a sympathetic ear. When she needed help later, some of those people kindly offered it. Here's where Mom's obituary takes a different turn. I will miss some things about her but not others. We helped each other through life in a contrary sort of way, unable to express difficult emotions while I was growing up. Mom and Bill retired to Lake Havasu decades ago. Mom depended on him to fix things and be in charge; he was her security blanket. During my annual visits after his passing, Mom and I sat in the house while the sun baked the desert outside. For the first time in her life, Mom was on her own. She had a few good friends, but it was hard on her when they moved or passed away. Despite having balance problems, she made a point of walking on her street almost every day. It became hard for her to walk down her sloped driveway to the mailbox, even when it was not windy. When I suggested a way to fix that, she was against the idea for no logical reason. Her anxiety about my going for walks or running errands outside of her rigid schedule drove me crazy. When the household tension reached a crisis point, Mom began to say what was really on her mind. It was then that we learned to share our feelings about and with each other in a meaningful way. During my childhood she never told me how she felt about my behavior. All of those buried feelings were still alive! We began to talk and argue. The arguing was difficult and sometimes terrifying as I relived being the child who needed love and attention. Our verbal sparring was absolutely necessary, leading to the next stage when we talked about our years of off-and-on connection after I grew up. Although we were still very different as people, we laughed and cried and grew closer. More recently our relationship again grew difficult. I accept that as part of the dynamics of life. On my visit to Haven of Havasu last fall, she and I parted on very good terms. If she and I meet again, we won't have anything to work out, because we've already done that. I wish you, her friends and caretakers, the same heartfelt process within your own families and with those you've chosen as family and who have chosen you. I think Mom would be pleased if donations to your favorite charities were made in her name. An in-house memorial service at Haven, to be facilitated by Lietz-Fraze, is in the planning stages and might be a few months away. Please see the Lietz-Fraze website for updates. Services were entrusted to the care of Lietz-Fraze Funeral Home. Thoughts and condolences can be sent to the family at www.lietz-frazefuneralhome.com. To send a free card go to www.sendoutcards.com/lietzfraze.